Bored? Don’t worry, you will be. Because this whole thing is about boredom. Like at funerals or weddings. Or at school. Definitely, school.
I will first begin by pointing out the essence of boredom. You may be speculating, what essence is there in boredom? Well, my friends, that is why I am here. To enlighten you.
The whole thing about boredom is that it is BORING. You wish you could be doing great things such as, riding your bicycle, or painting a picture, or traveling to distant planets, excuse me, countries. Perhaps that is why you are bored. Perhaps, right now, you are flying on a plane, with nothing to do but look out the window at the shrinking world. Well, fasten your seat belts, folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.
Boredom can be useful for many things. You see, when your kid is bored, you can make him do the boring stuff, like wash the dishes, or clean his room, and you can claim that it is all making him unbored. Boredom can also be used as a leverage to get what you want.
“Mom! I’m bored!”
“Well, then, go do something.”
“But I don’t wanna do anything!”
“Then call a friend and see if he can come over.”
Exactly. In a normal situation, your mom wouldn’t say, “Call a friend over.” Boredom is triumphantly standing on a whole new level from disease and hunger. Dire situations call for dire actions.
I will next state that without boredom, we would be couch potatoes. Of course, what I just stated isn’t entirely true, but some truth did trickle in a little. When your bored, you want to do something active, and when you do something active, you don’t lie around on the couch all day. Though, sometimes, maybe half the time, we will do just that.
At this moment, I am quite bored. Quite, quite bored. So bored, in fact, that I am writing about being bored. I know you are probably gasping in horror, but the truth is, the only reason I’m writing this is because I’m bored. I’m not writing this for you, or my dog (which I don’t have), or the president. I am writing this because boredom is just SO boring it needs to be written about. I love it.
Last of all, you are not alone in your boredom. It is nothing to be ashamed of, we all have bouts of it. I actually know several people who will call me just to SAY they’re bored. Experts define boredom simply as: “an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the opportunities surrounding them.” I can see clearly that there is no shame in it.
Now that I have enlightened you on the fine points of boredom, I will now speak to your inner boredom and tell you to stand, walk outside, and take a jog. I assure you, you will be greatly surprised at the lack of time it takes you to lose your apathy.