“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Archive for December, 2010

From A Cutter’s View (not my own)

i feel sick from the pain that i’m feeling

i wanna scream, but why? it won’t heal me

and when i dream, i am stuck, i can’t flee me

and when i wake i lose sight of reality

i am dangerous with sharp things, i hurt me

i have scars from the knives that have cut me

tried to cut out my heart i am dying

oh, how i wish all these marks were just skin deep

is there a way, somehow, i’ll survive this?

a cure, maybe, a remedy for this?

nobody cared but now maybe you do

after seeing the blood that i showed you

so i ask, will you carry my story

lose the mask of courage and glory

just to say that they aren’t alone and

there’s no relief there is only an end and

there aren’t many tears for the suicidal

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

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And Now An Ode To Coffee

When I rise up early

After insomnia kicked in

I’m drinking all my coffee

Lovely rushes of cafffeine

I dump the bowl of sugar

Into my steaming cup

Don’t mix it, make it settle

So the end is the best part 😉

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

It’s Really, Really Cold Here!

Yes, yes, I know. Earlier I said is was sinfully hot (but in different words), but now, I’m wearing socks, sweats, and jackets to bed. It is FREEZING! And the rain, oh, all this rain! I love it! Haha! I am full of contradictions! But so is the weather, and so is life. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right?

Something

Can you tell me how I hit rock bottom

With the world watching my every move

Not a warning or a whisper from them

It’s like they wanted me to fall down too

They find enjoyment in my falling faster

Placing bets on when I’ll reach the end

And then they tell you, “Oh, please don’t catch her,

I need that money, I’ve a bet to win.”

Another crack and now I’m breaking apart

Until I’m laying in the pieces of me

Drown out their laughter with the beating of my heart

Just to show I’m still alive, you see

Like a bird I sometimes wish I could fly

To flee the judgements that are placed upon me

But I can’t leave the ground, hard as I try

Life is a prison and in death you are free….

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Blown

Just listen for once to what I have to say
And what I am telling you silently
I cry out in anguish yet nobody hears me
Nobody cares enough to stop and help me
My words seem to blow away with the wind
Even when the trees stand still
I pray to you, believe in you
Could you just this once hold me tight
In your arms and fill me up
With your spirit what I need
All I need, is you and your love
So carry me, pull me away
I simply cannot take today

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Journals

I love journals. In them you can write your entire life story. No one is reading, no one is watching. It’s just you and a pencil and a little book full of empty pages, begging to be filled.

Of course, this isn’t one of those, this is a man-made electronic piece of paper, not made of papyrus or trees, safe for the environment. If you spell a word wrong, you know. All the letters are even and perfectly shaped. There are no mistakes.

But then, you don’t have the excitement of your handwriting. You can’t do anything fancy with your Y’s and G’s, something different and unique with your capital letters. You don’t see the change in the days, those times when you feel like writing very big and taking up a lot of room, or those times when you feel like writing smaller, making it look as if an ant walked on the page and left footprints.

And it isn’t private. Someone could easily open your folder and find out your take on the world. And when you write it on the computer, you feel as though you have to show it to someone, and post it somewhere in the vast internet.

It isn’t personalized. When you buy (or make) a journal, you are given a large amount to choose from. There are journals with hard covers, and journals with flapping, bending covers. There are journals that have a clasp or tie that keeps your secrets from spilling out. There are leather journals, the ones that look all ancient and fancy. There are those with lines and those without. And there is an infinite amount of colors that will match your personality and character.

This journal may be never ending, but once your real journal is filled up, you get to experience the joy of getting one all over again. And again, and again, and again, just as long as you continue to write.

When you don’t feel like writing, you can draw. Doodling is something I do often, on school work, on scripts, on my mom’s grocery list. Having a journal just for doodles is a good idea if you are the kind of person who will occasionally be hit with the irresistible urge to draw a cartoon of the comical little dog you just saw run past you. Just make sure the book is small enough to carry with you.

So, as you can see, real-life journals that you can touch and smell have a great advantage over these new, electronic journals that could disappear any second, depending on how soon your computer crashes. That post might never be read or commented on in your blog. If it were true that no one cared, you would never know. Instead you would be impatient for someone to actually say they felt the same way, or didn’t feel that way at all.

Stick to pencil and paper, unless you hate writing and would rather put your trust in a machine. I’m not putting those who would rather do that down, I’m simply stating a fact of my mind, one that doesn’t have to necessarily agree with your current point of view. Since this is my electronic journal, and not yours, I’ve a right to write what I believe, and no one need contradict me, since this is my electronic journal and not yours, as I just said.

Moving on. After seeing the fabulous difference between these two types of journals, I sincerely hope, from the very depths of my heart, that, if wishing to write out your life experiences, you will choose wisely. Since I am strongly biased in the matter of journals, I encourage you to use the kind that actually has the ability to feel along with you.

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

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