“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Archive for the ‘My Family’ Category

Marriage Is…

This is a list of the petty, silly, random things I do in my marriage. Yes, so many of these need to change and I am always changing. Both of us are.

Marriage is…

…not what you think it is when you are unmarried.

…nagging someone to the point of frustration, and then realizing you’re more annoying than whatever it was you were nagging them about.

…irrational jealousy and then when you receive attention from others you pretend it bothers you when you actually enjoy it.

…hypocritically doing everything you verbally tell your spouse to stop doing.

…crying uncontrollably in your spouse’s arms when you’re mad at them.

…waiting for them to come home and ignoring them when they arrive.

….cleaning and cooking while declaring your rejection of the 50’s housewife stereotype. 

…demanding them to do multiple things for you and then expecting a back rub when they’re done.

…assuming you will always be watching your movie and calling it the ultimate sacrifice when you watch theirs.

…having breakthrough moments when both of you cling to each other and don’t let go.

…eating breakfast with them in silence and not minding it.

…going to work and wishing they worked with you.

…arguing over who makes the most accurate animal sounds.

…watching your son and taking turns saying, “He’s so cute.”

…graciously brushing your teeth in the morning to give them a fresh kiss.

…realizing every day that you love them and cannot live without them.

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Two Days in the Life of Zeke

These last two days I have been taking Ezekiel to try out new things and documenting it. He won’t ever remember, but he enjoyed them all just the same.

Day 1:

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To start things off, we went to Barnes & Noble. We walked the two miles to get there in the somewhat cooler morning before the heat hit us. His favourite thing to carry around with him is his hairbrush, which may seem rather odd, but when a baby is teething they will chew on anything.

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The wall in Barnes & Noble has a little mural on it. He kept trying to pick off the little black painted spots, confused as to why they wouldn’t come off in his hand. I attempted to read a book to him but since he wouldn’t stop trying to eat it, I gave up and put it back before I was forced to purchase it.

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We walked the two miles back home and rang up his grandma to see if she desired a hike. Off to the Forest Park trails we went, right at the hottest time of day. I lathered Ezekiel in sunscreen since he is an extremely ivory child.

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He didn’t (and doesn’t) understand the idea of a selfie, hence the look of confusion on his face. Also, it turned out that during the two-hour trek up and down and up and down the mountains, he had been carrying a load the entire time. Perhaps that is what this look is about, him having an uncomfortable warmth in his pants while he was already uncomfortably warm in the sun. The last mile was somewhat of a jog, and then I eventually had to bare all to potential hikers when he decided he was too hungry to wait until the end. Have you ever tried a brisk, midday hike with a baby latched to your chest? I have now.

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He seemed a little tired and frazzled when we went to a goodbye party for a friend. This is his grandpa (and my dad). Ezekiel found a piece of onion on the ground and did not enjoy it as much as he thought he might. To end the first day of documentation, I had to work at an obscurely late hour and came home to my baby fast asleep in his crib. His dad did well.

Day 2:

Since we had journeyed nearly eight miles the day before, we decided (I decided) to continue on our streak of keeping away from the apartment as long as possible.

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We went to KidTime, a hands-on children’s museum half a mile from where we live. Although Ezekiel is little, he enjoyed climbing up every stair and incline he could find. Someday, he will be an ultrarunner. I know it.

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(Cue the blurry photo of an active child.)

He kept trying to carry on a conversation with the other baby in the mirror. Right now he also likes to grab hands, and was slightly frustrated when he couldn’t hold hands with the baby. We spent an hour at the children’s museum and then joined a group run for a six-mile jaunt on the greenway.

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After the run, I still didn’t feel like heading home, so we took a detour to the library. Ezekiel was stealing toys from the other kids and attempting to eat books, so we didn’t meander there too long. I began to feel a little peckish, so I grabbed a sandwich while Ezekiel nursed. He wore himself out with all his thieving.

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(A baby with his bounty.)

Finally, as the heat steadily rose, we made our way back home. He is, at the moment, appreciating the luxury of a good, long nap after a nice, cool bath. On a side note, tomorrow I am running approximately twenty miles out of pure enjoyment. I hope I don’t get lost.

Move Together

I thought I’d share some music while my child is asleep. I used to work at 3 in the morning baking pastries and I feel as though this song is pretty relevant. My husband would get home around 11 or 12 at night and this puts me in his perspective a bit, since we hardly ever saw each other during that moment in our lives. Oftentimes, I forget that marriage is two people and that both need to put in an effort to strive for their loved one’s happiness. Some missed sleep is nothing if you want to spend your entire life with someone.

Parenthood

While I look at my child as he crawls and climbs and falls, it occurs to me that I was once a child like this. 

I look back at my childhood dreams and teenage stupidities and wonder what sort of dreams and stupidities my baby will have as he ages. 

I made life so hard for my parents. I hated them at some points, even. The worse thing my child does to me is try to run away as I change his diaper. He may have a day where he hates me. It may last longer than a day and it seems so hard to believe.

Motherhood is hard. Parenthood is hard. My husband just had to do compressions on a man who committed suicide. His own mother was the one that found him, and that scares me. 

I guess all I can really do is teach my child to love and to value the fragility of life. As his mother, I want to protect him and keep him in a perfectly safe bubble, but this will make him value so little. He needs to experience the harshness of life to understand the beauty of it.

But I am afraid. I cannot help it. Forgive me.

You’d Be Surprised…

…at the amount of change that can happen in 5 years. I am married, I have a 6-month-old son, and I got myself into running and painting and somewhere along the line I forgot to write. I’ll give you this, though. I am older and wiser and perhaps a little less reckless than I was. Things that used to be important are not so much. Things that seemed meaningless hold all meaning now. Life feels vibrant and hopeful for me. I hope it does for you also.

 

 

Take Oceans With You

take oceans with you

so you don’t run dry

paper all around you

fold and fly

don’t waste the world

don’t change the sky

 

brother wake life has begun

and go to sleep with one eye shut

you don’t want to miss a

single thing

 

take pictures with you

so you don’t lose touch

daydreams are better

but that’s enough

don’t waste the sights

don’t change the lights

 

brother wake life has begun

don’t you want to see it all?

you’ve never walked upon this earth

you shouldn’t waste a

second more

Childhood

We caught the rainstorms

We danced in raindrops

We found the rainbow

More colorful that most

Our conversations

Like sand and water

Don’t go but then again

They compliment each other

They compliment each other

~

The day’s eventful

The night is grateful

The world seems to laugh

But not at us

Life is amazing

Nothing is crazy but

Both of our grins

And honesty

Honesty

~

We gave our heart’s up

Then told nobody

We liked the way it was

So secret and secure

You had the treehouse

I had the swingset

Now we are grown and gone

The promise safe with me

The promise safe with me

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

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