“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Posts tagged ‘bugs’

The Things I Cannot Stand In Life

Pulpy orange juice. It is the worst sensation one could possibly imagine going down their throat. Little stringy things that pop in my mouth and cause me to gag are not my idea of a cool, refreshing drink to start off the day.

Drains. They are the dark places my mind goes when I fall asleep.  Especially hairy drains. I know, you can’t really help whether or not your hair falls out in the shower, but you could at least have the decency to clean up once you’re done. I’m speaking to myself here.

Feet. I shudder even now as I write the word. You see, having five brothers can scar you. One brother, in particular, I’ve no doubt has been mistaken for a sasquatch on many occasions. I’ve yet to find a pair of f…f…those things you walk with…that could outweigh his.

Shaking hands. You can never know for sure where they have been. And being a person with an imagination, certain locations come to mind easily enough. No offense, but when I shake your hand, I will wipe my hands on my pants. It’s a habit.

Dysfunctional silverware. You know what I’m talking about. The forks that refuse to fit right in your hand, the spoons that hurt your jaw just to get them in, the knives that are clumsy and dull…I could go on and on.

People adding  to my creations. I’ll have this masterpiece (at least in my mind) and as I sit back to enjoy it, some intruding know-it-all will come and put their little scribbles and words in. In my mind, it completely ruins the integrity of everything.

Socks. They touch feet.

The crunch of bell peppers and onions. It’s plastic-y, rubbery, chewy, squishy, and it hurts my ears.

Unbrushed teeth. More importantly, my unbrushed teeth. I hate the taste in the base of my throat, the bumpiness of food on my teeth. Most days, I brush my teeth more than four times. Yes, I have issues.

Crutch words. Words such as “um” and “like” and “cool”. And every time I hear myself say these words, I want to go and hide in a corner. Most people don’t even notice when they’ve been saying these things their whole lives, but I do. Oh, I do.

Tomatoes and papaya. Tomatoes have that overly sweet scent and flavor that seeps into all the food on your plate and tosses its nasty aroma around the kitchen. And papayas…don’t even get me started. First of all, how can people eat it? The smell alone could knock a man out cold, but the taste..! You recall the feeling in your mouth you get when you’re sick and you’ve been vomiting in the bathroom for half an hour? You do? Well, the taste of papaya is dangerously close to that feeling.

Long grass (and the act of walking through it). Wet or dry, scratchy or slimy, I absolutely abhor it. Even worse, being barefoot and walking through it. Anything, and I mean anything, can hide inside unmowed grass. I imagine creatures slithering and scuttling across my feet and wrapping around my legs. Seaweed also gives me the chills.

Among these things I can’t stand are: those dresses that look like mermaid tails, an unwashed face, the smell of black tea, sticky skin, flies, cockroaches, mosquitoes, cars, horribly uncomfortable bicycle seats, and crawl spaces.

Think I complain a lot? Check out my other post https://singinthebreeze.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/phobias/


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Life Can Be Interesting At Times…

Life here can be interesting at times. Especially with all these bugs everywhere. First cockroaches, then tarantulas, now . . . lice. Yep, you read me, lice.
Someone went and made a passing comment about these beastly insects, and then I remembered that my head had been itching quite painfully in the past few days. So I said, half joking, “I think I have lice.”
My mom freaked out, searched my head, and it really didn’t take long to find a patch of eggs. And another patch, and another patch, and . . . another patch.
She hates lice, with a passion. She says they are dirty, ugly, and annoying. Sure, my stomach turns when I think of things crawling around in my hair, dropping onto my clothes, my bed, even the chairs I sit on, but, hey, they’re just bugs that reproduce on your head and feed off your blood.
Anyway, my dad drove to the store and found some lice shampoo, a fine-toothed comb, and rubbing alcohol. My mother and I washed my hair very, very well, and stuck my head in a plastic bag to suffocate me. Whoops, I meant the lice.
When I finally dried my hair with a towel, I noticed these dark things all over it. It was a whole bunch of dead lice, stuck to the fibers in the towel. Nasty, but at least we knew the shampoo worked.
And then came the nit-picking. I read online somewhere that the average louse lays 50-150 eggs in its lifetime! Or something along that line. My mom had her hands full, looking through my head for these miniscule ovals that are the same color of my hair. Hours upon hours, we stayed up until two in the morning that first night.
And then I stuck the rubbing alcohol in my head, put on another plastic bag, and dreamt some extremely troubling dreams that had nothing whatsoever to do with lice.
But after repeating all that for a few days (well not all, since that really wouldn’t make much sense), I am happy to announce that, here I am, bug-free, nit-free, and only slightly scarred from the whole experience. Also, I will be keeping my hair up from now on.

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