“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Posts tagged ‘change’

Sending Thoughts

Send those thoughts

And send those prayers

If you want to see a change

Then be the one you want to see

I’ve been just like you

So terrified

Hiding behind friendly walls

That make you feel good inside

 
They raised me “right”

And they kept me close

They didn’t mean to torment me

But I knew there had to be more

Now they send their thoughts

And they say their prayers

But I’ve been called to action

And I won’t be scared away from it

 
I don’t care

And I don’t mind

To see you looking down your nose

Maybe you’re

The one who’s blind

Maybe you’re the canine in sheep’s clothes


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What Hurts

IMG_1490Pain was necessary to make me who I am. Even though sometimes the thought of what I’ve gone through is crippling, I know for a fact that it was the turning point for my becoming. Without pain, I would never have held a relationship to the wild step of marriage. Without pain, I would never had given it my all to birth a child. I wouldn’t have the determination that I have now to experience life to its fullest. But, oh, how it hurt at the time.
When a fifteen-year-old finds herself at the mercy of two grown men, so many things can happen. I could have died. I could have been abducted, sold, lost. I was violated but so much worse could have occurred in that moment. I survived to have a family and a life of potential. It killed me then, but it drives me now to love beyond reason the harshest of humans.  Somehow I still see the light in this world.
In the year following that moment, I was dark in my soul. My mind shouted and my nails were used to scratch red, bloody words onto my skin. I wrote horrible notes to myself where no one would see them. To me, I was nothing. Ruined. A whore. I kept my dark secrets buried and let them simmer and shape me into a bitter cynic. I felt ugly, inside and out. And to me, every man, both young and old, wanted me as a toy to play with and then leave in the dirt.
What changed this horrible mindset? I had a mental disease that was eating away at my core. Whatever could possibly heal me of it?
There is a love that reaches deep into your heart and strengthens it and fills it where it once was empty. I may yet be cynical but I believe wholeheartedly that there is a God that mends the broken mind and drives us to live again. He let me realize that the darkness in me was my soul crying to be whole. I was not abandoned or ruined or the putrid heap I thought I was. I was loved. I was beautiful.
I hope that in my sharing of this there will be someone that will understand. Do not allow those that hurt you to win. You can still stand strong and tall and live life wonderfully. I hope you find the healing that I did. I hope you have better days. I hope you grow old with your family and can look back to see that pain only made you tougher and didn’t cripple you. You may still cry or flinch at little things but it will get better over time. Survive. Do not dwell on the past, as it cannot change, but it can change you for the better if you’ll allow it.

That Broken Harmony

People.
Have you ever noticed how different we all are? Even people that are similar have differences. We dress different, give our bodies our own flair. Celebrities try to be each other, we try to be them, and yet we cannot. Do you know why? Because we can never be the same as someone else. We are not clones cut from the same mold or the same exact ingredients. Even children are different from those who made them. There are changes in personality, changes in the way they walk, differences in what they prefer to eat. Twins, the people who are the closest to each other, are different. None of us is like another.

Still we try.
We shape our bodies and our faces to be like people we know. Mass groups are changing themselves, compromising their images to be false. Why do we do it? What have we to gain? We have so much to gain from being unique. From each person we can learn. We all have thoughts and words ready to break forth out of our lips. Our ways are our signatures, the signatures that we leave behind when we walk out of a building. They leave people wondering, wanting to know more about us. Our differences hold the interest of those we meet. They are what make friends and enemies and rumors and job offers. Without these, life is lifeless, colorless.

Can you see the sparks?
Leaping off our faces and out our eyes, surrounding our sighs with light and laughter.  Those are our desires and feelings. Those are me, drinking  my coffee without any sugar. Those are you, drinking your coffee with several spoonfuls. Those are the world, preferring one movie over another, one fabric over another, one topping over another.  Those are also the pain that each of us feels. The reason a father hurts his family and the reason a friend betrays a brother.

Without.
Without.  We are purposeless, gray matter amidst rainbows. Nothing we do can change that we are not alike. Hello, you. It’s me, a person. I am not you. You are not me. Now let us be friends in that broken harmony. 

Life

Life lifts its head in the wakefulness of morning

It turns to the side and gazes at the wall

Should I get up to change or stay the way I am?

It wonders as it holds its tainted clothing

Leaning down to stretch the limbs it clings to

So earnestly it hopes to become free

But when and where can life escape its own flights?

And how can what’s desired understand?

If some could see the things the clouds do cover

The kingdom waiting only for the known

Perhaps the life we have would modify its stations

And decide to wake with change upon its lips

I Need A Little Help With The Title…But…Anyway…

mirrors you wish you shattered quicker

always come to haunt

eyes that follow change your heartbeat

try to let her go

remember

love began

with a kiss

on the hand

all that’s  been

wasted on the

porcelain doll

you share your world with

there is no denying you find

fault in every step

memories that leave you sighing

try to bring her back

remember

love began

with a kiss

on the hand

all that’s been

wasted on the

porcelain doll

you share your world with

turn to your reflection and break the glass

 that holds you there

step inside there‘s no returning

to your pale friend

just remember

love began

with a kiss

on the hand

all that’s been

wasted on the

porcelain doll

you share your world with

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com


Railways (Chorus)

On a one way train

To a brand new life

I crashed and burned

As the flames grew high

I felt the pain

Of a break inside

And I knew the hurt

Was the endless fight

For a life

Full of love

I am reaching for you

Reaching above

With the hope

You’re enough

To pull me out of

The wreckage of me…

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Dear Little Heart

This is a song I wrote. I must be tired.

Dear little girl

I’m always forgetting I’m not you

You just don’t belong in this big world like you used to

And this little girl never had the life she wanted

But you can’t go back into the past to change the present

To change the future

Dear little love

I’m sorry for hiding

Everywhere I go they all can see I’m still running

This little love is all I’ve got and all I’m keeping

So when I die nobody’s hurt and it is perfect

But what is perfect?

Dear little heart

I’m never breaking you again

It just seems that’s all you’re meant to ever do

Yes, dear little heart, locked up and threw away the key

So no one can enter, not even me

Nobody

Dear little life

I thought of taking

But I know that it would solve nothing

Because our little lives could never reach perfection

And you can’t go back into the past to change the present

There’s always tomorrow anyway

Dear little girl

I’m always forgetting I’m not you

You just don’t belong in this big world like you used to

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

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