“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Posts tagged ‘life’

Sending Thoughts

Send those thoughts

And send those prayers

If you want to see a change

Then be the one you want to see

I’ve been just like you

So terrified

Hiding behind friendly walls

That make you feel good inside

 
They raised me “right”

And they kept me close

They didn’t mean to torment me

But I knew there had to be more

Now they send their thoughts

And they say their prayers

But I’ve been called to action

And I won’t be scared away from it

 
I don’t care

And I don’t mind

To see you looking down your nose

Maybe you’re

The one who’s blind

Maybe you’re the canine in sheep’s clothes


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Marriage Is…

This is a list of the petty, silly, random things I do in my marriage. Yes, so many of these need to change and I am always changing. Both of us are.

Marriage is…

…not what you think it is when you are unmarried.

…nagging someone to the point of frustration, and then realizing you’re more annoying than whatever it was you were nagging them about.

…irrational jealousy and then when you receive attention from others you pretend it bothers you when you actually enjoy it.

…hypocritically doing everything you verbally tell your spouse to stop doing.

…crying uncontrollably in your spouse’s arms when you’re mad at them.

…waiting for them to come home and ignoring them when they arrive.

….cleaning and cooking while declaring your rejection of the 50’s housewife stereotype. 

…demanding them to do multiple things for you and then expecting a back rub when they’re done.

…assuming you will always be watching your movie and calling it the ultimate sacrifice when you watch theirs.

…having breakthrough moments when both of you cling to each other and don’t let go.

…eating breakfast with them in silence and not minding it.

…going to work and wishing they worked with you.

…arguing over who makes the most accurate animal sounds.

…watching your son and taking turns saying, “He’s so cute.”

…graciously brushing your teeth in the morning to give them a fresh kiss.

…realizing every day that you love them and cannot live without them.

First Impression

I have always been curious as to how people view me, especially upon first impression. Depending on what sort of social situation I am in, I will put out a certain front. If I know most of the group I try to act as I normally am. I will crack jokes, maybe have a few conversations, and then I recluse after I’ve had enough. 

As an introvert, I realize I am most at ease when I am alone. After a while, however, I start to crave human company. I need a conversation, an exchange, something to remind myself that I am not a complete recluse. I sit in coffee shops or browse bookstores for the sake of interaction. I don’t need to have a full-blown conversation, normally. I simply need other humans in my vicinity to acknowledge.

So how do people see me, then? Am I a wallflower? A flash of colour passing by? Am I mysterious or intriguing or do I even stand out in any way? Would I be considered awkward or strange? I can be open and talkative one second and then closed up the next. Does that make me confusing or sullen? Seemingly mature or the exact opposite? Do I look world-weary or naive?

What do people see when they see me?

Unpopular Opinions

Doughnuts and bacon are disgusting.

Cars are a frivolity and people should walk more often.

Kids aren’t angelic. They are rather mischievous, actually, and don’t always mean well.

Brown and black do, in fact, go together.

Dessert is unnecessary.

Long lines can be enjoyable.

Not everyone has to marry and not everyone has to have children.

Women can be breadwinners (and men can do housework).

You don’t have to stretch before a run.

Bread doesn’t make you fat.

Rainy days are the best days. I mean, you don’t overheat when you run! Amazing!

You don’t need to go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. Sometimes, the physical church can be detrimental to your spiritual health and growth.

Help isn’t always helpful and it is okay to tell someone “no”.

The customer is not always right.

Toilet papers rolls should be placed so that the paper comes from underneath. It is easier to rip off and keeps people from using too much.

Anything to add?

Scoliosis


This isn’t normally something I like to show other people. I’ve tried to train myself into accepting every part of me, but when it comes to my back I like to ignore it. I don’t like seeing my awkward bend and I hate the feeling of tight shirts on my protruding rib cage. When I sit in the company of others I sit as tall as possible. When my husband captures pictures of my back, I normally delete them. 

The above photo makes me cringe, makes me sit up straight. I don’t like seeing my flaws so front and center. Once when I was stretching, my brother went, “Uggh! Your back!” That hurt more than it should have, because it is part of me, and not something I can ever change without surgery.

A few facts about scoliosis:

-Scoliosis is about 10 times more likely to occur in women than it is in men. 

-Usain Bolt – you know, fastest sprinter on the planet – has scoliosis. I’m curious what sort of stretches he does for the pain.

-Hitler viewed scoliosis as a disability and ran his freaky experiments on people with scoliosis, which absolutely terrible and terrifying.

Back to what I was saying. I hope that someday I’ll see this as just something that makes me stronger. It’s painful, especially when carrying a baby around and trying to sleep comfortably, but as long as I exercise and don’t sit too long, I can function just fine with it.

If you have any sort of insecurity about your body, I encourage you to talk about it and try to accept it as part of you. We’re all flawed humans and sometimes our flaws really do make us stronger or more interesting or simply just…us. We are as different as leaves on trees or blades of grass. We are tall, short, round, straight, curved, uneven, and everything else in between, and there is no problem with any of that.

Some of the Best Things in Life

Have you ever been out on an arid day, working hard or walking too far and then, suddenly, it hits you. The thirst. So unquenchable you are near gasping for breath; the rattle in your chest reaching audibility. It sends dense. thick heaviness through your muscles and bones and you feel incredibly weak to the point of falling until…

…you drink a glass of cold, refreshing water.

Some of the best things in life are so trivial, and yet so important. And, yes, it is stifling out today.

 

Domino Effect

I didn’t live in the Dominican Republic for long. It wasn’t even three years in the end. But, despite all my efforts to not assimilate to the culture, I left with several quirks because of it.

Every afternoon, someone would either invite us to have coffee at their house or someone would simply put a percolator on the stove. You would think that hot coffee in high heat and humidity would be overkill, but I found that after the initial sweating, the outside humectation would seemingly lessen. Now, I enjoy a pot of (decaf) coffee when the day begins to lull and I’m already preparing for dinner. It may be summer, but I feel as though I am better acclimatized than my husband and can stand the heat of midday enough to run in it.

The beaches of Sosua were always interesting. That side of the island is the more tourist-y side, with bars and high-priced trinket markets lining the beach entryways. The worst thing about them was the appalling amount of lecherous creeps that preyed the shoreline. These were the Speedo-wearing, beer-bellied predators blocked from their own countries. The average age was about fifty, but that didn’t (doesn’t) stop them from picking up sixteen-year-old Haitian and Dominican girls to use and abuse with the promise of a future outside the island. Unfortunately, because I grew so used to seeing this sick trend, I now assume that large, white, fifty-year-old men are all predatory and dangerous. I know this isn’t a fact of all men that look that way, but perhaps I am racist and sexist in small ways because of it. I don’t trust anyone’s grandpa until I really know them.

Lastly, the poverty in the Dominican Republic made me appreciate the abundance of America. Appreciate, and also abhor. We live in such luxury here and complain about the things we do not have. We have so much. I do not go hungry. My family does not go hungry. We have a one-bedroom apartment and I could have another child and it would still be sufficient. We have jobs. We have savings. We have clean water. I cannot complain.

After all is said and done, I do wish to go back someday.

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