I hate cameras. I know I’m not photogenic, and no matter what people tell me, I will always know this.
I will be having a perfectly good time eating…laughing…jumping around like a crazy person…but the second someone whips out a camera, I’m deflated, like a balloon when it touches the freshly mown lawn.
No one seems to understand my fear. And if I am to ever attempt to explain my feelings, they always laugh and say, “You looked fine in the picture.”
Living in the Dominican Republic, though, has shown me what most won’t show me in America: the courtesy of being completely forward with me. If I look bad in a picture, they will tell me. And oh, have they told me.
So, if you dare to think that there is no point in this phobia, you are misguided in the extremest sense anyone could ever imagine.
But, I do know that this phobia is simply a form of vanity. With every single person in the world on Facebook, who can blame me for ducking behind everyone during photo time? If they end up nasty, I can never erase them, or redo them, or fix them up…and I will always dread the next week when all those wonderful photos are tagged with my name.
We should create the Non-Photogenics Anonymous (NPA). I’ll most likely be the only attendee, but at least it’s a start. First step: swear off Facebook for the rest of my life (it really has no point, it’s only there to make use of the scroll down). This way, I won’t have to worry about being tagged.
Yet…when I think about it…this means others will be viewing these horrible pictures of me, and I wouldn’t know! I would live in fear of unknown, my emotions would be a mess! On second thought, I’ll keep the Facebook, and just de-friend anyone that dared to tag me in a less-than-seemly photo.
But wait, then they would be able to post these photos, and once again, I’m be in that rut, in that fear of NOT KNOWING. There really is no solving this issue, is there?
Ha! I shall become a hermit! I shall go high up in the mountains where nobody wielding those evil machines of devil can find me! I will live of fruits and nuts and wild boar, I will grow my beard as long as I wish, and I won’t have to shave my legs, and my teeth can rot away and..I…SHALL….BE…..FREE! Mwahahahaha!
But how boring that would be…