“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” – Roy T. Bennet

Posts tagged ‘soul’

What Hurts

IMG_1490Pain was necessary to make me who I am. Even though sometimes the thought of what I’ve gone through is crippling, I know for a fact that it was the turning point for my becoming. Without pain, I would never have held a relationship to the wild step of marriage. Without pain, I would never had given it my all to birth a child. I wouldn’t have the determination that I have now to experience life to its fullest. But, oh, how it hurt at the time.
When a fifteen-year-old finds herself at the mercy of two grown men, so many things can happen. I could have died. I could have been abducted, sold, lost. I was violated but so much worse could have occurred in that moment. I survived to have a family and a life of potential. It killed me then, but it drives me now to love beyond reason the harshest of humans.  Somehow I still see the light in this world.
In the year following that moment, I was dark in my soul. My mind shouted and my nails were used to scratch red, bloody words onto my skin. I wrote horrible notes to myself where no one would see them. To me, I was nothing. Ruined. A whore. I kept my dark secrets buried and let them simmer and shape me into a bitter cynic. I felt ugly, inside and out. And to me, every man, both young and old, wanted me as a toy to play with and then leave in the dirt.
What changed this horrible mindset? I had a mental disease that was eating away at my core. Whatever could possibly heal me of it?
There is a love that reaches deep into your heart and strengthens it and fills it where it once was empty. I may yet be cynical but I believe wholeheartedly that there is a God that mends the broken mind and drives us to live again. He let me realize that the darkness in me was my soul crying to be whole. I was not abandoned or ruined or the putrid heap I thought I was. I was loved. I was beautiful.
I hope that in my sharing of this there will be someone that will understand. Do not allow those that hurt you to win. You can still stand strong and tall and live life wonderfully. I hope you find the healing that I did. I hope you have better days. I hope you grow old with your family and can look back to see that pain only made you tougher and didn’t cripple you. You may still cry or flinch at little things but it will get better over time. Survive. Do not dwell on the past, as it cannot change, but it can change you for the better if you’ll allow it.

Masks

the heaviness of silver and gold on your face and

robbing you of joy and for all of your pain it

will not go away and for all of your strength it

will not melt away

the way i see it you are on your own the

many years of anguish have taken their toll and

the mask that you wear is a part of who you’ve become and

part of you just won’t let it go

when you strain against it forever hold fast for

your skin and your bones have entwined with the mask and

to lose it would mean losing part of your flesh but

part of your flesh must go

you pull and you worry til the whites of your eyes are

all i can see and then nothing at all while

metal and blood are flecks on your palm and

metal and blood are read on your palm

and you strain against it but it forever hold fast for

your skin and your bones have entwined with the mask and

to lose it would mean losing part of your flesh but

part of your flesh must go and you

strain against it but not even half will

become unattached from the expression you have and

everything else has been freed but your soul it

forever remains below it

forever remains below

Well-Wishers

I’m here for the music

And not for the fear

That creeps up behind

And cuts off the air

Here for believing

In places beyond

Not for the whistle

And blood of a sword

~

A soul can sing

When it’s been freed

And sit above

To watch the march

Of the black dressed women

And the deathbed bearers

And the well-wishers

Sorry for your loss

The well-wishers

Sorry for your loss

~

I’m here for the music

And not for the fear

That creeps up behind

And cuts off the air

Here for believing

In places beyond

Not for the whistle

And blood of a sword

~

With good things said

Of him that fell

A flower’s dropped

On bended knee

But the dark red rose

Cannot bring back life

For a world as lonely

As could be

A world as lonely

As could be

~

I’m here for the music

And not for the fear

That creeps up behind

And cuts off the air

Here for believing

In places beyond

Not for the whistle

And blood of a sword

~

I’m here for the music

And not for the cry

That wrenches hope

From which is lies

Here for believing

Before the sight

Not for the voices

Of a haunted night

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Why You Dance

call it what you will but it’s a dance

that moves the very center of your soul

and releases all the hurt you ever had

and forgets every promise that you broke

but you can’t help but start to wonder what you’re for

and you feel it so deeply that you cry

and dreaming isn’t what it was before

and you doubt the point of “who” and fear the “why”

call it what you will but it’s a dance

that you been showing off since time began

and only now you’ve started wondering

why you’re here

and why you dance

you’ve been spinning for so long you’re in a hole

it makes it that much harder to escape 

and the dizzier you are the less control

it seems there’s no way out your present state

you used to like the feeling that it gave

but you’ve seen what it means to be complete

and you know the happiness you felt was fake

and you’re tired of the aching in your feet

call it what you will but it’s a dance

that you been showing off since time began

and only now you’ve started wondering

why you’re here

and why you dance

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Dreamer

I want to be remembered

I don’t want to live in vain

No, I don’t want to be a martyr

I don’t want to be a king

Cuz I want to be remembered

For more than just a dream

I want to stick inside the minds

Of all the people that I meet

And live a good long life

Doing things worthwhile

And changing lives

And moving hearts

And free the chained up souls

And help them all to know

They can let go

Of everything

~

I want to survive

And lead

All the survivors

Following me

I want to stay

And want to be

Something greater than

A gave-up dream

~

I want to be remembered

I don’t want to live in vain

I don’t want to be a martyr

I don’t want to be a king

Cuz I want to be remembered

For more than just a dream

I want to stick inside the minds

Of all the people that I meet

And live a good long live

Doing things worthwhile

And changing lives

And moving hearts

And free the chained up souls

And help them all to know

They can let go

Of everything

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

Railways (Chorus)

On a one way train

To a brand new life

I crashed and burned

As the flames grew high

I felt the pain

Of a break inside

And I knew the hurt

Was the endless fight

For a life

Full of love

I am reaching for you

Reaching above

With the hope

You’re enough

To pull me out of

The wreckage of me…

 

 

© 2011 singinthebreeze.wordpress.com

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